Saturday, June 18, 2011

Eight fears

Really? I have to narrow it down to 8 fears? This could be harder than I thought, but here goes nothing.....

1. Vomit. Have I mentioned this before? Because it really is one of my biggest fears in life. When I was pregnant I actually worried that maybe I wasn't cut out to be a mom because I wasn't sure I could deal with vomit. But I have dealt it with and I survived. I have a post written in my head all about that experience but even thinking about it makes me wonder, "Is my stomach hurting?".

2. Silence. I often feel as though I must fill every moment of my children's day with something. Knowledge, rhymes, wisdom, loving affirmation of their feelings. When I find myself being silent, I wonder if this was the moment I missed. Maybe that's why my daughter never stops talking....

3. Flying. I still have to hold my mom's hand during takeoff. Makes it hard when I have to be the mom. Sometimes you just want your mommy, even when you're 30.

4. Not being hired when I go back to work. Sure, my masters in Special Ed and Deaf Ed sounds fancy now, but who is going to hire a 40 year-old with only 4 years experience in the classroom. Especially one that forgot how to sign in the mean time.

5. Raising a boy. I love my little man like I could have never imagined. But he is so foreign to me. Seriously, I have no idea what to do with this little child who loves to throw and hit but is more cuddly than anyone else I know. Not to mention, do they sit or stand for potty training?

6. Newborns. Yes, I want at least one more child. But the scary part is that they start as newborns. And I don't do well with no sleep. Or babies who won't nap unless you hold them. Or walking circles around your house making those magic " shushing" sounds. But I really can't wait for another one.

7. My kids turning into me. I really hope my less than wonderful qualities didn't get passed onto my children. I guess this is when I say I'm scared of raising a girl.

8. Not seeing my family in Heaven. Really. I deal with a fear of death because I believe we will meet again in Heaven. Now I just have worry about getting everyone there. That's a lot of responsibility as a mom. But I believe it's my greatest responsibility and I gladly accept.

Monday, June 6, 2011

Nine Loves

Time for my next list.

Nine Loves

1. Early bedtimes and late mornings. Don't usually get both, but a mom can hope.

2. Nap time. Seems like I must love when my children are in bed. Hmmm...

3. Watching my kids play together. They are just at the beginning stages of this and it usually turns into wrestling, but I love those few moments when they are laughing and playing together as I stand by and watch.

4. My hospital stay after my babies are born. I can't even believe some moms have their babies at home and miss out on the hospital stay. It's constant cuddling with your precious new baby, catching up on tv shows with your husband, people bringing you whatever you want, sitting in your pjs for 3 days, and someone taking your baby at night and only waking you for feedings.

5. Muffin Tin Meals. If you haven't heard of these, you need to learn. My kids basically just eat snack foods for meals anyway. This arranges them in a 6 muffin tin and your kids will magically eat.

6. Grandparents. I am definitely one of those moms that takes full advantage of the grandparents. I happily let them take over parenting duties whenever possible. And I don't feel guilty. One day I hope to get to do the same for my grandkids.

7. Cheeseburgers, French fries, and Coke. I'm not sure what that has to do with being a mommy but I feel it deserves a place on any list of things I love.

8. Leg hugs. I love the feeling of a little one tugging at my skirt or getting an unexpected hug when doing the dishes.

9. Gymboree and Baby Gap. Heck, I like any kids clothes. Just another reason I love grandparents.

These loves are, of course, in addition to everything else I love that is more important than any of these things. I really do LOVE my life. I am so blessed that I could never make a list of all the things I love. But it would start with Jesus, my husband, my kids, my family and cheeseburgers. I am one happy girl with a lot of joys and a lot of love.

Oh, and I really love comments on my blog. You guys are really nice to me. And I like to know people are reading. :)