Blog guilt

As a mother, every little thing can make you feel guilty. Going out with friends while your husband watches the kids (even though he just played golf for 6 hours while you stayed home by yourself on a Saturday). Feeding your kids McDonald's. Looking forward to nap time. Napping during nap time. Turning off the monitor for just 5 more minutes of sleep during nap time. Putting your 9 month old in front of the TV so you can go to the bathroom. And the list could go on and on...

But I never expected that a blog would bring me guilt. Especially not a blog that I very much enjoy writing. But that is exactly what has happened.

A few weeks ago, my son decided that he was going to start the process of dropping of his morning nap. Every morning, I would anxiously await for him to show his tired signs - rubbing eyes, getting crabby, etc. I am pretty obsessed with trying to make sure that my kids don't get overtired because then we all suffer. But by 9:30, no signs of sleepiness. 9:45 - still nothing. 10:00 - despite him playing happily, I scooped him up and went ahead with the nap time routine - diaper change, failed attempt to read a book, nurse, sing, put in crib, leave the room. Thirty minutes later, he finally falls asleep. And then sleeps for 3 hours!!

Funny how this SHOULD be a positive thing. If he was my only child, I would have been celebrating. But not with two. Right about the time my daughter is ready for her nap, he is waking up - well-rested and ready to go for hours. Right about the time he is getting grumpy again, it's time for my daughter to wake up. And where does that leave me? With NO time to myself. No cleaning the house time. No Bible study time. No watching Ellen time. No blogging time.

Before I knew it, two weeks had gone by with no blog post. Every day, I would promise myself that as soon as the kids went to bed, I would blog. But then I was just too tired.

And then, I started to feel the guilt. I might as well not even continue the blog if I can't post regularly. I started to imagine all my readers wondering what happened to me. (When in reality, I am pretty sure my Mom is the only reader anxiously awaiting a new post). Most people probably didn't even notice I had dropped off the face of the blogging world. I started wondering why I had even started to blog and was feeling embarrassed that I couldn't get it together. So I decided to just quit.

But then I realized something - this is supposed to be fun, right? The whole point of this blogging thing is to give me an outlet to write and record the funny things in my life. It doesn't really matter if I have any readers at all. So, I'm back. Maybe not as often as I would like, but I have so many stories in my head that I can't wait to tell. Hope you enjoy reading them Mom!